| Pretty in Pink: With a mixture of life, SATC guidance, and soaps to give insight |
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| Damn these sappy films. |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|01:37 pm] |
So, this post may offend some people, annoy some people, piss of some people, but guess what? It is my journal and my damn opinion so skip it if you want. I ain’t hear to spare feelings I am here to say what I think. On with my post. You see when I was in high school I was in a religion class that a lot about talking feelings and all that stuff.. Somehow some girls were talking in class and they came across the topic of that Tom Cruise film. My ears perked up because hey I am Tom Cruise fan. Alas, they hit the topic of Jerry McGuire one where Jerry says to Renee Z. character “You complete me.”
Now, there are people that honestly believe they are incomplete until they find the “one” whomever the one may be. I remember my religion teacher [who is qualified has her Masters and all that jazzz in the subject] saying that was the most horrible line. She explained that were are individuals and that God made us complete and if you felt incomplete [which she felt could happen] the only person whole could complete you was your faith in God.
Once I heard that explanation I understood something. Me, as a person I am not incomplete. I know who I am and do not feel the need to be completed by anyone. You can find love and when you do and you think he is the “one” it is my opinion that person can only make you better. You have your own soul and you are your person as Allie and I discussed today. You aren’t half as good when the person isn’t with you.
If the person falls in love with you it was because you weren’t half completed it was because they saw this individual they really enjoyed for whatever reason. Also, that brings whole other issue that there are soul mates in this world and sometimes there are people who may be “destiny” to be with one another and aren’t. So, does this “lost” soul of yours yearn forever and be completely miserable and always feels an empty spot within them?
Dear god, I hope not. Whatever religion you may be or not be the whole notion is that you are suppose to be happy so you moping around for your half doesn’t seem all that logical to me.
I am firm believer in love, but I am also a firm believer that you need to love yourself before you can go love someone and claim that they complete you. Go find yourself and then find someone who makes you happy and makes you want to be a better person. Stop trying to find completion in someone.
I will finish this when a poem that I heard when I was in my 10th grade religion class and I always appreciated it. [I took 10 years worth of religion classes. The Hebrew Scriptures and the New testament classes one was the worse though…]
“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. what, you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. it will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, what amazes you with joy and gratitude. fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything” Pedro Arrupe
[Crossed posted at GJ journal] |
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| TIRED |
[Jun. 6th, 2005|11:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Selena: Bidi Bidi Bom Bom | ] |
I am ready to kneel over and die. Finals want to kill me. I can't do this anymore.
Art History Final tomorrow at 4:00 and then my film final Wednesday 4 to 7 pm.
Then I am going to celebrate ie meaning getting drunk silly. Ha how bad to preach or something. But yess, that will be good.
Thursday I have to pack and get all my crap together. Then I am going back home for the summer, yay!
I will write some reflective 2nd year conclusion later. I have no brain power anymore. I have no idea how I managed to write this up. |
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| I can to try to fight and deny it |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|08:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
I felt like updating I guess.
I don’t really remember what has been going on, how sad is that?
I was home this past weekend for Memorial Day weekend. It was good except I was stuck writing my film paper so that was bleh.
I had plenty of Coffee Bean to make me a happy camper, but a huge highlight was seeing Crash. I have to say that is an amazing film. It uses great system of different editing style and the editing makes the whole different. The cuts are quick and the cinematography is pretty well done. Overall strong film in the narrative sense, there is a lot of montage. The montage makes the viewer think about the film and not just watch it. But to actually think, which is great from my pov.
Ha I love this private post stuff, Jess I saw the pics. Look at my space for the comment I left you about it. I sent you a message.
School, almost done. I have two finals and 1 paper left to write before my 2nd year is over. It is insane how stressed I am going to be. After that I have to move out and that is going to be a pain in the ass since it means cleaning the room too.
Random thoughts now:
That Ashton Kutcher new show :The beauty and the geek show is pretty funny. Some of the guys are pretty cool and the girls aren’t bitches . Not bad show.
Lost pilot is going to be aired. Finally!
I LOVE, JC’s new song. Santana and him did an awesome job. Go download if you haven’t it. I smell this as a hit. It is much more JC if that makes sense and not so freaky like ‘Some girls dance with women.” |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 18th, 2005|10:23 pm] |
I love Lost. Tonight's ep was just amazing. Next week is the season finale I am elated for that. I just want to see what will happen.
Oh Ian was on it for like 3.5 minutes ha.
I wanted to do this whole thing about something that was annoying me. And then I thought who gives a fuck. The end. |
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| It was overdue. |
[May. 16th, 2005|02:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I want you: Thalia | ] |
I thought I should finally update this. I go through spells like I said before. I fully recognize that a weekend at home is not enough time for me to do everything I want and see everyone I want to. Ah I couldn’t fit it in Patty to watch thatCrash film or talk to Kristina about her saga. And to make matters worse the upcoming three-day weekend I need to write my last film paper. It basically determines if I can keep my A in the course. So, me going out around then is going to be slim.
So, last weekend I run into this old friend. [For those who know him ahem Alvaro]. Ok whatever let’s go on. It was really weird because I hadn’t seen him like a year. Yeah about a year. Now during the course of the year ya’ll know I went through my lifestyle change and did a whole 180 change. Anyway I guess I shocked him for the good of course. Anyway, we went out to coffee that afternoon and talked for like an hour or so. I was suppose to see him this weekend but between my drive to San Diego and trying to get to Wango Tango. I couldn’t see him. Although apparently I made a good impression on him, I am not sure where things stand. Ugh my head, boys mess everything up.
Since I went home two weekends in a row I finally got time to get some shopping in but also finally see movies!
I saw The Interrupter: Not bad, I really love Sean Penn as an actor. So, it was a good. Not a film many people will see but I enjoyed it.
House of Wax: Pretty good. I love horror/thriller flicks . Chad Michael Murray stomach very sweet, I enjoyed that sight for sure.
Amityville Horror: Eh, I liked the original better. Not a film that did anything much, it has it’s moments and Reynolds was all right eye candy. A film many of you can do without.
Finally I saw A lot like Love:This has to be one of my favorite Ashton movies and one of the cutest romantic chick flicks ever. I was gushing through most of it.
In other news, we are still apartment hunting. I think we found a place but we will see. |
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| Porque en las cosas que to vivas yo tambien vivire |
[May. 5th, 2005|11:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Laura Pausini | ] |
Woah I am just updating almost everyday lately, (if you haven’t seen those entries, it is because they are friend’s locked. Oh well)
I had this big update about my roommate and mono. Although that would have been somewhat amusing and ironic to share, I will withhold from it.
Also, I left my I-pod on the airplane but I got it back. So, that is a good note I guess….
Sometimes, pain just happens. You are not sure what to do with it, but it comes around to show it’s big ugly head.
No one knows it but you and that is the sad part.
Maybe that is my outlet just watching the world pass up at certain points so I don’t have to remember that everything isn’t peachy keen.
Gah this so horribly cryptic, but that is just the way it is suppose to be I guess. |
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| Stolen from Liz. |
[May. 1st, 2005|08:22 pm] |
] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I listen to political music (what's that?)
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed. (yes and no)*steals answer*
[] I open up to others easily: So-so depends
[X] I am keeping a secret from the world: Hmm aren’t we all?
[ ] I watch the news.
[X ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[X ] I own an iPod or MP3: I love my I-pod
[ X] I own something from Hot Topic.
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[ ] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[ ] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[ ] I bake well.
[] I would wear pajamas to school.
[X ] I own something from Abercrombie.: That store robs me
[] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[ ] I am in love with love
[x] I am self conscious
[x] I like to laugh.: More like Love to laugh
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[ ] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[ ] I have many scars.
[x] I've been out of this country.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[x] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[ ] I love chocolate.
[ ] I bite my nails
[x] I am comfortable with being me
[ X] I play video games.: sometimes
[x] Gotten lost in my city.
[x] Saw a shooting star
[x] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[] I Had a serious Surgery.
[] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[X] I have Kissed a Stranger (haha no comment)
[x] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[ ] Made out in an elevator
[ ] Swore at your parents
[ ] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been close to love
[x] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[ ] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[ ] Flashed someone
[] Saw a therapist
[x] Done the splits.
[x] Played spin the bottle
[] Gotten stitches.
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[] bitten somebody
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car
[ ] Been to Japan
[X ] Ridden in a taxi
[] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[ ] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
[] Stole something from your job (candy)
[x] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[x] Had a crush on teacher: more like TA :-X
[ ] Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[] Saw someone dying
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day.
[ ] Been to Canada
[X ] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[X ] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[] Been Skiing
[] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Been to a moto cross show
[ ] Lost a child
[x] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college: In the process!
[ ] Done hard drugs
[x] Taken painkillers: I was dying of sinus infection and ear infection took plenty.
[] Had someone cheat on you
[] Miss someone right now |
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| I had to |
[Apr. 30th, 2005|03:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | I'm not okay(I promise): My Chemical Romance | ] |
If you know me, if you allow me to speak to you more than 20 minutes. Somehow, I will make some reference to my favorite celebrity . Ahem, yes Tom Cruise. Don’t ask when the
obsession began because I can’t tell you. Well, maybe it was when he did his dance in his tighty whites in Risky Business.
He is now somehow dating, ex Dawson Creek Star Katie Holmes? I am speechless because it is Tom Cruise and ya’ll know how much I adore him. It is just weird and crazy all at the same time. Le sigh
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| You say you can't but it is just that you won't. |
[Apr. 27th, 2005|12:13 pm] |
Amen to this song. You gotta love SoCO for the realistic lyrics cause tht is how I feel with a certain situation I am for real. Boys all they do is make that much more difficult I tell you.
“Hey, give me space so I can breathe
Give me space so I can sleep
Give me space so you can drown in this with me
Hey, give me space but I can't breathe
Give me space but I can't sleep
Give me just one inch I swear that's all I'll need”
-I don’t want to get sick but I feel warm and I have the sniffled. Bleh
-But lack of sleep, livin’ on caffeine ie Mochas and Diet coke to stay awake does not constitutes healthy living I am sure
-FILM MID-TERM today. AHHH. I hope I do well. I had my art history midterm yesterday it went good. I knew all my shit.
~ I am off to do some more last minute studying for film. I have the final at 5, le sigh I hope it goes well. |
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| why not |
[Apr. 22nd, 2005|03:45 am] |
Yessss
-4 Barcardis later
-2 Wine cooler later
*Life don't seem so bad and everything is good, cause you got a nice buzz going. College gotta love it for everyone having booze everything. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2005|01:34 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Come back to me: Janet Jackson | ] |
After, making that update last night/morning here I am doing it again. Alas as I said my last update UC Santa Cruz how it very politically and environmentally active. UCSC Students in addition, with students that attend universities in the Bay area, San Diego and LA are doing a walk out in protest of Budget Cuts for all universities and other public school education and institutions at Noon and 2 pm.
Here is some more info:
Walk Out for EDUCATION! - Santa Cruz Rally April 20
TAKE A STAND FOR PUBLIC (and higher) EDUCATION. NO MORE BUDGET CUTS. SUPPORT OUR TEACHERS. SUPPORT OUR STUDENTS AND STRUGGLING SCHOOLS.
Arnold our ever so great governor says “ No, new taxes”, yet he's taxing students, seniors and the working class. Undergrads will see a 8-10% increase in their tuition next year.
Sorry I am already about a couple of thousand dollars in debt with the help of financial aid. So, this something I am support of . If you are at school and people are taking part. Take a stance and walk out. Student activism is key to being heard. |
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| Apprently I am bored.:Stolen from Liz who said I did this a long time ago ha |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|02:05 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Over:Lindsay Lohan | ] |
TEN random things about me
10. I use to love the horror movie “Child’s Play” haha Chuckie the killer
9. I have some semi possessiveness issues perhaps
8. I really like the color green
7. When I listen to songs about 75% of the time, I take time to pay attention to the lyrics see how they can apply to my life
6. I really do enjoy watching those crime shows on the discovery channel
5. I do actually enjoy alternative music
4. I want a fairy tale love (stealin’)
3. I do like art
2. I care about the environmental. Oh support the ONE campaign by the way!!(not so much animal activist)
1. I was pre psych but dropped it and changed my major.
NINE places I've visited
9. Mexico
8. Chile
7. Florida
6. San Francisco
5. Las Vegas
4. Arizona
3.
2.
1.
EIGHT things I want to do before I die
8. Reach my damn goal weight, 20 more pounds. Ah
7. Learn to let go without getting a margin and wrinkles (stealin’)
6. Finish my stories/book about people and relationships
5. Produce a film in the pro production stages
4. Travel to Europe look at the art work in Italia and Greece
3. Be myself and give big fuck you to the rest of the people that don’t like me (def. Stealin’)
2. Be successful
1. Be married and happy
SEVEN ways to win my heart (Julia's were really good so I stole ,6,2)
7. Playing an instrument ie guitar or piano
6. Make me laugh
5. Quote me cheesy movie lines, even if he hates them and I know he does.
4. A hand holder and a cuddler
3. Don't suffocate me and commitment should not be an issue
2. Understand, accept and love my quirks and habits. (know that I love pink and bring me pink flowers for no reason at all)
1. Just look at me like I'm all that's there
SIX things I believe in
6. Karma!
5. People make themselves sick if they allow themselves to be trapped by negativity
4. No one ever knows anyone 100%
3. Starbucks can make me happy
2. Love
1. God
FIVE things I'm afraid of
5. That I won’t get to accomplish all the things I want
4. Losing my support system of family and friends.
3. Not finding that person that doesn’t want to tame you but wants to run with you
2. Not knowing if I making the right choices in my life
1. SNAKES
FOUR of my favorite items in my room
4. Playstation
3. The tv
2. my 4 pillows, yah yeah I have 4, they surround me
1. Laptop
THREE things I do everyday
3. listen to music
2. Check LJ and GJ it is sick
1. Laugh
TWO things I am trying not to do right now
2. Trying to stay awake
1. Not to get sick
ONE person I want to see:
Umm, I have no clue. |
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| Swimming through sick lullabies |
[Apr. 15th, 2005|04:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Killers | ] |
I think I am getting sick. I feel achy and I have a sore throat. Hmm a bit of chills, I am hoping it is a 24 to 48 hr bug. I just can’t handle being sick, my anti bodies better keep it up a notch or get some more vitamin C.
Yes, OJ, haha. I think Lauren will be the only person to understand that.
I have to fill out my paper work and get an advisor to ensure my Film Major. Apparently I am in competitive
major who knew right? I need to maintain a B or better average which is fine. I am use to getting my A’s. Although Film is curse and blessing in itself, it is not simple but you do become more observant about things and human emotions and how films tap into that. Fascinating yes but hard work as well.
It was Shannon’s birthday yesterday, lordy another one of us turned 20. I called her and we are planning to hang out sometime in May when I get back. I am stuck here all of April since I have more papers and midterms than I would have expected.
Randomly I was watching MTV which I don’t do. And bam I hear Rich Cronin dude from LFO. He has leukemia. LFO one of my former teeny moments and they have songs that were so catchy. Life is crazy sometimes, hopefully the guy will make a recovery.
"I'm coming out of my cage
And I’ve been doing just fine
Gotta gotta be down
Because I want it all
It started out with a kiss
How did it end up like this
It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss" |
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| Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead |
[Apr. 11th, 2005|11:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | Just peachy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | One Headlight:Wallflowers | ] |
So, it is Monday alas that means I had my 5 hour film class again.
I just happen to set in the front in lecture there are like 200 of us in that lecture hall. However I sit in the front and the ta’s sit in the front as well in the same area all the time.
TheTA I have now, Rob who was my former TA for my other film class. Whenever he sees me, we talk because he knows me from last quarter. . Last time we talked, he mentioned how I had a habit of rolling my eyes. Tonight sitting in my spot we chatted up a bit about how I had Jessyka (the roomie) count how many times I role my eyes.
We laughed about it, whatever end of story. I commented this to Jessyka and she said that I flirted.
Psh how is that flirting?! I mean he is attractive that has nothing to do with it though, I was just talking.
Vertigo is an interesting film. It wasn’t boring but not a film I would see again. I was confused by the ending I’ll figure it out I am sure. Well, I don’t really have a choice.
I have nothing else going on. The quarter is going. Jessyka and I need to start apartment hunting I am sure that will be great, (sarcasm). I refuse to live in SC during the summer. So, she can stay in the apartment while I live the good life in LA. People in LA that visit SC or San Francisco love it. You love it because you Don’t live here haha. Otherwise you find some major pitfalls. Although SC is good for the soul, a lot of room to think.
Speaking of relaxing. It has been what I have been trying to do. Lordy knows some people know how to push my buttons or annoy me. However, I refuse to get wrinkles and cause myself grief . So, just taking everything with a grain of salt. Carpe Diem everyone! I think you gotta enjoy life even when we got through some really shitty moments.
I have to add this because it made me laugh:
I was talking to Jill . She lives in an apartment with her three other roommates which are girls . The best thing she said and I would quote but I don’t remember what exactly she said. It was to the extend that these hoes need to stop pmsing and start taking Midol. So classic. I busted out laughing. Amen sista people need to chill out lately.
PSS:
Please check out: The banner on my user info and/or go here
Help make a change |
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| Damn you "Lost" |
[Apr. 6th, 2005|09:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  restless | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | This Use to be my Playground: Madonna | ] |
Oh my god. I am just in limbo right now. I have no words at all right now.
So, basically in December I got this urge to watch the show Lost. My favorite show use to be Alias but this is season is just horrid so I needed one show that could keep me aflot. Le sigh, Nip/Tuck isn’t show till much later so I was like searching. Alas I stummbed across Lost. I got ADDICTED, 1 episode and I was hooked. That show is like coke it gets you.
So, I avoid all spoilers because I love watching this show. And BAM tonight my heart just fell. My favorite character on the show Boone played by Ian Somerhalder, fucking was KILLED OFF!!! I am like what, hello half the female population is ready to kick someone’s ass for having Ian’s character out of all them to be killed of. AHHHHH, I am just blah. I don’t know anymore. Damn show….
I guess in other randomness.
I really do enjoy French films instead of Italians one.
The Cat is Away and Hate are awesome French films, check them out! (Yes they are foreign aka meaning they have subtitles)
-Did you know that films (aka movies) tend to have characters walking or any kind of moving going from LEFT to RIGHT because our eyes our accustomed to seeing action moving left to right .Since that is the way we were taught to read that way.
-Also, about half of the population get Mono before the age of 5. However, although you be affected with the disease, the symptoms are subdued that you can’t tell them. Mono contracted when in teen or an adult can give you serious symptoms and you have 6 weeks of hell. Fun times!
Watch out for the “kissing disease” |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2005|11:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | smart | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Quiero:Shakira | ] |
-Did you know that it take 96 hours for you to realize that you are sick? After your body has been infected from a bacteria or a virus. It takes just that long for all your anti bodies to start fighting back
-Also it isn’t the sickness that makes you feel icky like nauseated, dizzy, cause you to cough, throw up etc. It is your anti bodies that cause all your inflammation and all ache ness to happen because it is doing its job.
*I am taking a contagious Disease class, I am learning some pretty great things! I am just paranoid as hell now. Oh always wash your hands!
I watched this Film “Red Desert” it is Italian Film. I had to watch it let us make that clear. It is part of my film class, which is 5 fucking hours long!!! Whatever though.
Back to the film. I didn’t get it, it was just stupid, it has no plot and the chick drove me mad with all her random mannerisms. Just a plain bad film really.
Lost, that show might kill me one of these days. I mean it is so damn addicting and poor Boone (aka Ian.) His face was kinda gross looking for sure.
I just felt I needed an update. I have nothing further to say.
Oh wait, I have like 3 e-mails that are like novels that are waiting for them to be replied and give my professional opinion., Aka my shrink advice and I am a tad bit behind. Shit people I ain’t being paid for this. Jess is first on the list so tomorrow I gotta do that one.
Oh lyrics because, today was a good day overall like Ice Cube said. I love this Shakira song, Spanish seriously has better song than English. Oh well.
“quiero exerderme,
perserguirte, pretenderte,
quiero amarte noche y dia,
quiero gastarme la vida
quiero amarrarte a mis
sesenta de cintura
llevarte como a tuataje
quiero perder la cordura..”. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 30th, 2005|09:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
AIM what the hell?! One minute I am connected bam, all my sns go off!
Le sigh what the hell am I suppose to do now.I may comment spam but damn. |
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| Le Sigh |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|07:30 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  lazy | ] |
To all my soap opera friends it is a very sad day to hear this and to post it in my journal. Our current Carly at GH aka Tamara Braun has opted to not renew her contract. Now me, Rachel, and Liz have been thinking we get back our great Sarah Brown as Carly the original. However, things suck and we have a new recast for Carly who is Jennifer Bransford.
Click to see her picture. ( New Carly )
Anyway GH has managed to screw us fan over and I have no idea how this chick is going to work. She looks umm “Older” than the rest of the Carly’s. We will see. All I have to say is look at Days fiasco with it’s three Belle’s recast it had!
Here is a little excerpt from SOD:
“General Hospital executive producer Jill Farren Phelps admits that following Braun will be a difficult task. However, Phelps insists that the show will go on.
The audience, says Phelps, "will eventually accept a new Carly, especially if Maurice [Benard] is determined to make it work." |
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